Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Introspective Day

So, today should have been like any normal day, and in many ways it was. I spent a few minutes this morning reading a Sherlock Holmes book. And no, it wasn't because of the upcoming movie. I have a habit of reading several different books at a time (ADD maybe?) and I was over at Mom and Dad's house last night and saw it. So, I picked it off the shelf and began to read. I'm quite impressed, as it is quite good. I believe the book is called "The Return of Sherlock Holmes". Apparently in the previous book, it was thought the Sherlock was dead.

But that's not the point of this post. It was a nice day outside, and as usual, I was spending most of it inside. I had meant to go over to Dad's and help him work on one of his projects. I WAS playing on the PS3 with Jessie, trying to keep him from wonder how much longer it would be until his surgery to remove his wisdom teeth. In between here and there I was helping Julie clean the house. My brother Christopher came over and asked what I was doing. I thought he was going to invite me to ride along (and he did, sort of) while he was working as a police officer. Instead, he asked me to go with him to Austin to pick up a new gun that he was buying.

It was a good ride. We listened to Glen Beck some, talked some and enjoyed (ha, ha) the ride through San Antonio into Austin. The trip and ensuing conversation brought to mind again the great desire I have had for some time, but have utterly failed to act upon, to work as a police officer. I guess it has always been more of a hobby dream than a work dream. I've ridden for quite some time with law enforcement officers, from Texas DPS, to CCPD and TPWD Game Wardens. They are all different, but enjoyable and interesting experiences for me. However, that's not what this post is about either...at least in its whole.

After coming home, Julie asked me to watch a movie with her. I wasn't too excited about the movie, "The Bucket List", with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. I'd seen the previews and , well, didn't really care to waste the time watching it. I was quite surprised and touched by it though. It made me wonder, as I seem to be doing more of late, if I had accomplished the things in this life that I wanted to do. Now, I know that this life isn't the completeness of my existence. In fact, I know it is quite a small blip on the eternal plan and life we are to live. But, I cannot help but think that there are things and experiences that we can only really gain and appreciate while in this mortal life.

So, how much time do I waste here instead of doing, learning, or sharing what I should. I believe all experience is for our good, and many good things can even be learned, say, from watching a movie. If we let it teach us something. I am amazed day after day how little time we have here. In a way, I feel blessed to know that already, but I've gone much further down the road. I hope it helps me, as a compass, to gauge my path and make corrections where possible and necessary. I believe I've been blessed for all I've done, or for having the opportunity to do them, thus far in life. But I wonder on those opportunities passed up and forsaken because I hesitated, or was afraid, or occupied but some lesser important or valuable task. (I truly hope all this introspection isn't a sign of time left!) But with all seriousness, I hope to try, day by day, to ask myself if there isn't something more, or different I could/should be doing, and not pass up those "LIFE" experiences before it is too late. I shudder to think of my children grown and gone, although it will happen one way or another. I revel in the joy of being there with them and their opportunity. I cry over the time lost or squandered that I did not spend with them to the utmost capability. I'm relieved in the fact that I can be forgiven, and, if so chosen and taken, can have the chance to be with them forever.

So, that's my Christmas wish this year. To all those, and they are very few, who might read or stumble upon this. Take the time to do that which you have always wanted, live life to the fullest, and do it with the ones you love, before there it is yesterday and the only experience you are left with is the wish that it were somehow different.

1 comment:

The Freds said...

Thanks for that wonderful message. I enjoyed getting to see you and your family this Christmas. You are such a light in this world. I think the world of you and Julie for taking in Jessie and Jay, when you already have so much on your plates. They will be so much more prepared to face the world as adults because of you two. And you will be blessed beyond measure. Your family is an inspiration to me. Hug Jenna and Jacie for me. They are the cutest little hug bugs. Love y'all. Aunt JOY